asterisk.jpgThough not totally surprised, I was informed that the lease to the guest house where I have resided for almost three years had come to an end, and I must move by March 31. I, of course, had to scramble into action and within the first two weeks of the month saw a variety of places, most of which were totally uninhabitable.  I am not one who expects to live in the bosom of opulence,  but I expect to view a place devoid of filth.

My needs are relatively simple. A private place to relax, and prepare simple meals. A space comfortable enough to watch my PBS shows, or screen a movie. A space enough for my bed, and small flexible table for meals, a usable bathroom for grooming, and a place to hang my cloths.

For almost 900.00 I was offered a living spaces the size of some people’s walk in closets, a kitchenette consisting of a microwave, and a dorm refrigerator. Surprisingly, one place in Glendale was so dirty, it appeared to have been painted over 20 years ago with grit in the shower older than the the city itself.

Another layer of difficulty finding a place might have also stemmed around my age, sexual orientation, and the fact that I work for a church. I think I can safely say that a middle aged Gay male who not only works for a church, but is ordained clergy does not help as a marketable roommate.

My question before me, as always, is to ask: where is God in all this? How can I be aware, and open to be led in transformation; full in the knowledge that in a spiritual life, one must trust to know that the primordial essence of God takes something which might appear to be bad, and turns it into a good —that’s after all what God does.

This Friday I was made an offer by a snow bird couple from the church were I serve to stay at their home not far from church; a place they reside during the winter, and leave for summer. They are happy to have someone stay in the house so it will not be vacant, and for me, the cost would be much less than renting a guest house or a room. They also have enough room to store my meager processions. I will take it.

The situation, however, is not without it’s immediate drawbacks. Until June, I will not be able to spend as much time with Felix, and I am used to us spending private time together; it relaxes, and comforts me as our lives have become interconnected in ways which are healthy. I know I will feel unsettled, but at the same time, I know some good will come from this.

My journey continues, and it continues with many changes. This year will involve moving twice, once to the temporary living situation and later to a new place. My journey continues as a newly ordained Deacon, making my way into a new life, new situations, and new responsibilities. My journey continues as I balance my job as parish administrator, and deacon. My journey continues as my Rector leaves for a three month sabbatical, holding down the fort. My journey continues as I try and maintain my on-going relationship with my significant other as I move further away, and the ease in which we could meet each other.

My journey continues . . . .