labyrinth

Jeremiah 1:4-10
Psalm 71:1-6
1 Corinthians 13:1-13
Luke 4:21-30

It was a balmy warm summer evening in Huntington Beach. The courtyard of the church was enveloped by a vibrant palette of sunset colors which slowly evaporated into a blanket of cloud cover.

In the courtyard of St. Wilfrid’s, mixed with audio strains of Gregorian chant, lay a hand crafted labyrinth made from blue duct tape. It was nothing fancy, and was obviously designed from a “how to” book. Placed in various areas of the labyrinth were small half domed candles,  you might know those kind I’m talking about; candles made from glass with cargo netting around the outside, but in the center of the maze was a large white candle glowing by itself – - – - it seemed lonely.

I knew nothing of labyrinths, the only thing I knew about them was that it was the name of a rotten movie I’d once seen starring David Bowie, so when I took this class which involved talk of walking a labyrinth, I rolled my eyes and thought, “Oh great.,,,,.new age bull hockey.”

Before my turn, we were told to mentally take something into the labyrinth, and bring it to God. Trying to fight skepticism I thought, oh well..I’m here, I might as well participate, so I did what was asked.

At that point in my life I was concerned about what lay ahead of me. I had cared for my mother, and she had passed, and it seemed that my care giving days for my father were also coming to a close…for almost 10 years, care giving was my life…so I thought: “What’s next?”

This is what I brought into the labyrinth….I asked, “What’s next? ?…help me God to know what’s next?”

As I made my way through the duct tape maze of lines, stopping now and then at a small candle, I would center my thoughts asking God “What’s next?” As I walked further into the labyrinth I inwardly became gripped with fear. This fear was so intense that it was as if I had entered a dark foreboding cave, a cave of anxiety, but at the height of this emotion I found I had reached the center…I was there with the big white lonely candle…I made it, and my skepticism began to evaporate.

As I stood looking at the flame something extraordinary happened; I had entered into what the Celts call that “thin place.”  In this thin place I heard a voice, a voice which was not my own, a voice which had the power of an earthly tremor, but contained the timbre of love beyond measure. The voice simply said, “Trust me.”

When it came time to make my way out of the labyrinth, I began to be filled with joy, and a feeling of excitement filled every portion of my being; at this point I made a covenant of trust with God, and this covenant sustains me, and continues to be a crucial element of my personal and spiritual journey.  Faith as trust is amazing; consider giving up to it.

Faith as trust transformed the prophet Jeremiah’s life as God promised to be with him. Faith as trust was a solid foundation of Jesus’ ministry to the world, eventually leading him to resurrection. Faith as trust transforms lives, including my own. After that eventual evening, a skeptic walked into a labyrinth, and came away changed, free to discover the person God knew from the beginning, but I had not.

Parker Palmer in his book, “Let your life speak” writes, “Vocation is not a goal to be achieved but a gift to be received. Discovering vocation does not mean scrambling towards some prize just beyond my reach but accepting the treasure of true self. Vocation does not come from a voice “out there” calling me to become something I am not. It comes from a voice “in here” calling me to be the person I was born to be, to fulfill the original selfhood given me at birth by God.”
I didn’t have a goal to be ordained Deacon, it was not on my personal radar, but I find it fascinating where trust has taken me.

When I had become a candidate for ordination, I emailed my former spiritual director, Deacon Vern Woodlief, who will proclaim the Gospel this coming Saturday. Vern wrote back saying, “The church has said, “YES!’  They have affirmed that you are called to take the Word to the people and to bring the needs of the people to the Church.  They have affirmed what you have been doing is needed, vital; important for the present and the future and that the church wants all to know that they are going to name you as a servant of God by laying hands on you because you have said and demonstrated – “Send Me!”

People of St. George’s, whom I have grown to know and love…I don’t know what will happen at ordination, but I know I am willing to be sent. I will gladly go out into the world as Deacon knowing my covenant of trust with God will sustain me. It is my dearest wish and prayer that we can use this trust together, as together; we can make this world a better place for all. Together, with faith as trust, we might realize “It is not some religious act which makes us a Christian, but participation in the suffering of God in the life of the world.”  Let us with trust in God participate together.

Amen.